TRADITIONS August 27–September 1, 2012

A tradition is a practice, a custom or belief that is handed down from generation to generation.  A family tradition is when a family repeats activities that they enjoy.   They do not have to be big things – small things like reading or telling stories before bedtime, kissing the children goodnight or regularly spending time alone with each child are just a few examples.  You may ask why traditions are an important part of family life?  They unite a family!  They give a child and and an adult a sense of belonging, security, things to anticipate, something a child and adult can depend on – consistency in an often inconsistent world, build happy memories and gospel-oriented memories.  Traditions can help us become “firm and steadfast in the faith” (Helaman 15:8) like reading scriptures daily, FHE, family prayer, sitting in church together, visiting rest homes, etc.   

I have been blessed with so many family traditions in my life.  Memories that are always there no matter where I am or what situation I am living in.  Our family today as so many fun, family-friendly traditions:  half-marathon during Labor day, grandkids triathlon, St. Patricks Day, finding baskets and eggs on Easter, Christmas eve, fireworks tent (I am not sure many of our children would think this a fun tradition), ‘heavy, heavy hang over they poor head, what do you wish this person with a bump on the head’ on our birthdays, choosing your favorite dinner on your birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Thankuary dinner in January, watching General Conference together with conference bingo, a fortune cookie and balloon on the Christmas tree for New Years, girls and boys weekends, Time Out for Women, two years now going to Heber Valley camp, running ragnar,  etc.  (my mind has stopped).  Being so far away from my family now and not being able to be part of these traditions, I am discovering how important they really are and how much these memories mean to me.    I relive these memories as I vision the family home experiencing them.  How gratifying it is for me to know that my family is united at home keeping alive the traditions that were started.  Hopefully, they will help my children and grandchildren stay “firm and steadfast in the faith”.  They enjoy just being together!

Our 7th Annual Lombardi Half-Marathon 2012– Held the Saturday before Labor Day

Traditions are not just for families.  Countries have them also.  At home the 4th of July has been a tradition for many years in America.  The 24th of July for the celebration of the pioneers entering the Salt Lake valley.  These are just a few.  Traditions normally are for the remembering of an important event or happening that bettered the life of a country.  But we learn in the Book of Mormon of the “wicked traditions of their fathers” that led the people to total destruction.  This week I have witnessed a Swaziland tradition that should be eliminated – Umhlanga or Reed Dance.  The Reed dance is held in August/September where tens of thousands (last year there was 30,000 and this year they say 60,000) unmarried and childless maidens travel from their villages all over Swaziland  to participate in an eight-day event.  They gather at the Queen Mother’s royal village in Ludzidzini – which is less than a mile from where we live.  They cut reeds, bundle them and bring them to the Queen Mother to be used in repairing holes in the reed windscreen surrounding the royal village.  On the last day they dress in their traditional costume consisting of a bead necklace, rattling anklets made from cocoons, a sash and a tiny skirt.  The thousands of young maidens sing and dance as they parade in front of the royal family as well as a crowd of spectators.  One of the main objectives of the Reed Dance historically is for the king to choose another wife.

I believe some traditions start as an important and essential part of a culture.  People tell me here that this is their culture - embrace it.  But when a tradition has become a stage for infidelity, where  young girls roam the streets naked, use this time to find freedom from being away from their family, and sing and dance in front of the royal family and spectators wearing literally nothing else but what I mentioned above,  it is time to say “this is a wicked tradition” and it should end.   I can’t even tell you to look it up on the website because I would be sending you to a porn site.  We had to send our Ezulwini elders away for four days because there is no where to go that they wouldn’t see nudity.  I wonder how many young girls this weekend will end up being HIV positive.  This tradition has become nothing but a stage for promiscuity.   The age is from 8 – 22 years.  What are they teaching their young girls?  Oh, how I worry for these young maidens.  This tradition is not keeping them “firm and steadfast in faith”.

This is the march to the Queen Mother’s Royal village held on Friday.

This is the streets of Lobamba where the maidens are staying almost anywhere they can find.

They marched back to the royal village on Friday.   Saturday was a day of rest.  Sunday they present their reeds to the Queen Mother, on Monday they dance and sing in front of the royal family and spectators and on Tuesday they go back to their villages

Monday, August 27th, is Trista’s birthday.  What a glorious day for us when she was born.  After three weeks of waiting and waiting and waiting, to have her arrive was such a blessing and she has continued to bless our life every day since.  Happy Birthday sweetheart!

Dennis and I went visiting on Monday.  How we love to visit our new friends.  Nombulelo’s uncle had passed away last week and she had gone to his funeral.  We visited her and brought her some flowers.  Then we took some pictures that I had taken to Nokukhanya Songwe Dlamini of her and her daughter, Thandolwethu (which means “a blessing” – isn’t that the best) and we asked if we could come back.  Their family have recently left the church.  Then off to the Msibi family where we took some food given to us.  They are doing much better.  We proceeded to go visit with Bhekiwe Shongwe – the young girl who came to church on her own because she had seen the birthday cake that the missionaries brought.  She is the most delightful young 19-year-old ever.  She already loves the gospel.  She was going to meet with the missionaries on Wednesday and we visited again on Thursday and she said that she had a “special moment”.  The spirit was witnessing to her of the truthfulness of what they were teaching her.  I have no doubt that she will be baptized.  She is coming over next week to have lunch and watch the Joseph Smith DVD.  That night we had Ephraim and Mavis Dlamini and their family for dinner.  Ephraim (the kings brother) was unable to come because the king wanted him but Mavis and five sons and daughter-in-law came and we had a wonderful visit.  A delightful family.   None of them besides Mavis and her youngest son are members but one young son I think is interested.  The oldest son is a pastor of another church but listened to us share our testimony and agreed to come over again.

Dlamini family – Thandolwethu is the little one; the other two are Nokukhanya’s husbands from another marriage 

Nokukhanya is the one on the right

Mavis Dlamini and her sons

Tuesday, August 28th was a day we were privileged to have a true culture experience.  We picked up Elder Vusi Mamba who just returned from his mission last week and drove him to Mpaka to see his family.  Now  family here in Swaziland sometimes, most of the time, does not mean the ones who gave you live.   Around here it is the ones that raised, took care and loved you.  So the family that we took him to see was his really his aunts. (We had met his mother in Sunday in church.  She lives in Piggs Peak.  She had left him behind when she remarried)  But before we got there we were able to visit other aunts, uncles, cousins who also had a large part in raising this young man into the amazing missionary that he became.  He is the only member but they are a religious group of people.  Let me tell you a little bit about his story.  He was looking for some help in a store in Matsapha and approached a man that he thought worked there.  But it was a senior couple, Elder Baum.  They started talking and the gospel was mentioned.  He was interested so they set up discussion times.  Now, where he lived was about a hour away, so Elder and Sister Baum would travel from where we live, to his place and give him the discussions.  He was converted, baptized and later served a mission and is now living ‘the rest of the story’.  We feel so lucky to be part of that story.  We appreciated him sharing his family with us.  Where his family lives is really what you would think Africa was.  In fact, it reminded us of the setting of the movies of ‘The 1st Lady Detective Story” (?) filmed in Botswana.  It is barren, dirt roads, no trees, out in the middle of no where.  But humble, sweet people that opened their homes and love to us.  The first homestead, they invited us in, fed us biscuits and drink, shared their memories of Vusi (they all thought he spent two years being trained as a pastor and called him that).  We then went to his high school and saw one of his teachers.  In fact, where he went to school is where the Hall’s (the peace corp couple) live.  Then we started off to see his “auntie”.  On the way he kept seeing friends that he knew, so we would stop.  At one stop, there was a gathering of young maidens that were waiting for their ride to the “Reed Dance” gathering.  We stopped and talked with the adults there that he knew.  They had the girls dance and chant for us and had me join in.  One of the ladies was working on the sash and skirt that they wear and gave it to me.  Of course, I will wear something underneath.  To think that those girls will be dancing almost naked tomorrow, breaks my heart.  And their parents know what they will be doing.  We finally made it to his auntie’s home.  What a greeting when they saw him.  She danced around singing and chanting.  Then she jumped up and down with Dennis and I.  What a fun lady.  She is a traditional healer and showed us how she performs her labor.  All the family came out and greeted us all so warmly.  Then we had a traditional meal consisting of pap (water and maize cooked),  a piece of  chicken and rice and eating it on the floor.  I still have not learned to stomach the pap.  She shared with us mission pictures that Vusi had sent to them. It was hard to say good-bye.  She asked us to please come back to visit.  I don’t think they could keep us away.  We then headed up the mountain to a city called Siteki to visit with a family there – Mdziniso (?) family.  It was just the wife that was there and she had fogotten her key so we visited outside.   We arrived home around 6:30 just in time to go with the elders to visit Sister Dlamini, who had the new baby.  Her baby was sick and she had taken her to the clinic (our hospital) and asked for the elders to come and give her a blessing.  They brought us along.  I was asked to give the prayer before and Dennis gave the blessing.  She later away to stay with family to help her.  We do not know how the baby is doing.  (She left her two boys behind with someone.)  I pray that all this makes sense.  It is really hard to write down in order what happens in our life and not make it sound like a travelogue.  Our live is full of experiences and we want to share them. 

Our first visit-his aunt is embracing him

I seriously could use those wraps that the ladies where around their head.  Another reason why they use them – wind blown hair.

Vusi’s high school

Reed dance matrons – the one in the back with the red shirt is the one that made my Reed Dance outfit

Me with the maidens

Dennis and I – look at all those girls

Trying to get the steps

Trying to look official

This is all they wear at the Reed Dance – the sash and that little skirt

Dennis with the “acting” chiefs

The lady on the end is Vusi’s cousin who lost a 18-year old daughter a year ago in a drowning accident

His family – the “auntie” and her homestead

She was excited to meet us –isn’t she cute

How she finds out what is wrong with someone

His “auntie”s sister and her family

Sister Mdziniso is on the right

After Tuesday, Wednesday was back to normal.  We visited the Lobamba boys, the Nkambule family – they were not home but left them pictures and brownies.  Drove up to the Shongwe’s to teach the temple prep class to Portia to prepare her for her temple wedding.  Dennis had to help with the Ezulwini audit and I made homemade bread – yum.  I have forgotten how much I love homemade WHITE bread.  It had been so long.  Elders visited.

August 30, Thursday started with a much needed walk.  Exercise is what we need more than we get.  We had lunch with Kayise Hlatswayo to give her the envelope with her mission call.  She wants to wait until Saturday to open it with her family (again, her aunt who raised her and her daughters) in Nhlangano.  So we had to wait to find out.  We went to see how the Dlamini baby was doing but like I said earlier she had gone away and then visited with Bhekiwe. We hurried home because Dennis had his mission presidency meeting on skype and I made chicken broccoli and sweet rolls.  That evening we went to visit Lydia and Ned Silavwe.  We found out that her mother had passed away so we wanted to express our sympathy.  We visited for three hours.  Time goes by when the company is good.

Kayise and her mission call

Friday was running errands….bikes fixed, picked up a skirt from  Manzini Market that I had made for me (love it), delivered posters about the Employment Workshop to all the chapels, went to the Reed Dance march and met a family from Nigeria that is living here in Ezulwini working with a World Hunger Assoc.  We feel so bad that we did not get their names and phone number.  Dennis and I have been praying that we will meet up again.  When he saw our name tags he asked if it was the same church as Mitt Romney.  Wow that floored us.  He said that his views are more like the Republicans and said that Romney had given a great acceptance speech.  He proceeded to express that he thinks Romney has values.   Can you believe that we did not get their names?  We are sick about it.  They were a delightful couple with 3 children.  I would love to have them over and make them some new friends.

The mother from Nigeria is on the left.  Her sister from Italy is on the right and the two little girls are the families.

 

Nhlangano was on our agenda on Saturday.  We drove for the baptism of Mncedisi Ndlovu from Gege.  They are having Gege baptisms in Nhlangano gone.  They rent a kombi to drive them there and there were about 7 who came from Gege.  He is about 10 years-old and his mother was so happy.  We then drove to a small city on the mountain called Hlatikulu.   We still had time so visited with Babe Hlope and his nephew joined us.  He was reading the Restoration pamphlet so had questions and it was wonderful to talk about the gospel with him.  He asked if we could come back so made an appointment for Thursday.  We hurried back to Nhlangano to be there when Kayise opened her mission call.  So exciting.  She is going to Nairobi Kenya leaving November 15th.  I had hoped that she would go to Salt Lake so you all could meet her, but the Lord had a different idea.  She is excited and wants to leave now.

Mncedisi Ndlovu’s Baptism

Opening Kayise’s mission call – Kenya here she comes!

Sundays in Swaziland are the best.  And especially Fast and Testimony meeting.  We attended the Mbabane branch.  We weren’t sure where we were suppose to go but Dennis had a strong impression that we were needed there.  And as it turned out, his impressions were correct.  There were items that the branch president needed him for.  I am so lucky to have a husband that is close and listens to the spirit.  The testimonies were amazing.  Never a lull in the time.  Heart-felt, strong testimonies.  Ones that strengthen mine.  I was able to sit with an investigating couple during Sunday School and share my Book of Mormon and talk to them.  During Relief Society a little boy just came to sit on my lap and we drew and enjoyed the time together.  After we took the family – father, mother and little boy - that I sat with during SS home.  She had a stroke in February (young) and has to use a cane because her right side does not work correctly.  It took them 2 hours to walk to church because of her condition.   While we were driving them home, he told us that he had spent all his money on witch doctors to cure her.  He said they take our money but nothing happened.  How sad to put your trust in something as worthless as witch doctors. How grateful I am for the priesthood power.  I wish that I would have taken a picture of where they live.  It was humbling.  Dennis went to his district meetings while I cooked and did some church work and wrote my blog but for some reason it would not publish.  Gotta love the internet service here.  Even the mission president has just about had it with Swazi service. 

I am grateful for all the traditions that have begun and continued in our family.  The memories I have are priceless.

“The language in the home should be the gospel.”  Found this, loved it and wanted to share it. 

“And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth, through disobedience, from the children of  men, and because of the tradition of their fathers.”